Tortures of the damned

I hadn't met her in so long. It's been over a year since I heard our jokes told out loud. Over a year since I last felt this way. And it felt so good I wanted to cry. I never thought things could be this good, but when we were laughing, it felt like we never had been apart in the first place. How does she do this? She's my princess, my little sister, my angel, the one who saved me so many times. She's my soulmate, and I'll write her name in the skies.

I find myself thinking that it's been so long since I last experienced happyness that I can't remember what it feels like anymore. When was I ever happy?

Remember when our heartbeats were synchronized and when I was always on your mind? How can you say that you don't miss it? How can your heartbeat have gone so out of synch with mine, that you don't pay a minute of your day to have me in your thoughts? When did this happen? How did this happen? Why did this happen? Were we really so different? Were our heartbeats just a fluke? They couldn't be, I felt them so strong, pulsating through my body.

I can't believe you're not here. Without you I'm in a constant state of dreaming, a sense of non-being in a way I never really felt before. I do not, I can not, exist, without you. I'm like a ghost that can't move on and even though I'm so tired I could fall asleep standing I always think of you for two hours before I fall asleep. You are a permanent resident in my brain and I don't see you leaving anytime soon.

I heard good girls don't get their hearts broken. Where did I go wrong? Why did you choose to deny me my happiness?